I'd been wanting a tattoo for years - since I was 14/15, but had slightly grown off the idea as I grew up as I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to commit to for the rest of my life. Bands I'd fall out with, symbols and signs I'd get bored of after a while. So, I left it until about a month ago.
At A Glance Author Sa Contact Sa@bme.anon When A week ago Studio Graham's Location Bradford I'd been in a 4 year relationship beforehand where I messed up and we'd grown apart in the last 6 months as he'd found another girl, and all this mess resulted in us not speaking to each other. I dunno about anyone else, but when you've been with someone for just over a quarter of your life so far, you can't get it out of your mind & heart so easily. So I sat there for days thinking about it - when you just can't comprehend that you'll never speak again; this person you've had the majority of your 'firsts' with. And the idea of having a tattoo to commemorate my first love came into my head. I thought a lot about what I'd get and where and why.
I wanted to get two tattoos, the one I wanted to get first was a greek word on my wrist, on my left pulse. The word has a lot of meaning for me & it holds a load of connotations. It's part of his name, it's the personality I have, it was the relationship we had. Perfect. The tattoo I wanted to get after was his name in greek on my rib. I guess that was highly inspired by Asia Argento's tattoo for her sister on her own rib, of which she said she got because she heard someone say (can never remember who) "I don't know who cut you off my rib" as in Adam & Eve.
Our separation was brutal. I'd lost him and it was hard for me to pick up the pieces. That rib idea summed it all up. I still see him as my left side & the only 1 i'll truly love, so it all fit. Showing on my skin - his first name on the bone so it was private, and his name again on my wrist so it'd be on my pulse, making the blood flow - fixing up my left side.
Anyway, I sorted out the text & had it ready on a piece of paper to take down. I'd been told Graham's was the best for quality & price which was what I was looking for. I went down last tuesday to check out the place, loved it, like how Graham acted & everything. Sorted out a time to come in on thursday to have the wrist tattoo done.
When it came to Wednesday night, I changed my mind. I went for the rib tattoo. And a small one as I knew itd be painful and I wasnt sure how I'd take the pain. I went down (ended up going with the first love as he'd found out by then & wanted to be there to support me) & waited for Graham to be done with another customer.
We did all the admin stuff first - just signing the document & photocopying the word so he could copy it on my skin. He was really nice & friendly throughout it all, just generally chatting to us (was especially sorted when I said this was my first tattoo) & he then said what he was going to do. We sorted out a place for the tattoo (just under my left bra cup/bra line). He cleaned the area, shaved it, cleaned again & then transferred the stencil on my skin and waited while the stencil dried.
Graham got out all the stuff he needed & asked if I was ok with the tattoo needle & noise it made. I was really scared at this point. It was going to be on my rib! I was just hoping I wouldnt scream out in pain or cry and embarrass myself. He said that the pain wasnt going to be as bad as I'd anticipate it to be and got me in a position where he was able to tattoo properly & one where I wasnt stretching the skin or anything which'd result in too much of the ink being used.
It's hard not to tense up when someone's tattooing you. It was very painful when he started. If I could compare the pain to anything, it was probably like epilating (girls, you know what i mean if youve tried it). Adrenaline kicked in and my right leg was midly shaking. It wasn't that painful enough to make me cry or anything like that. Just wince. So all in all it wasnt that bad. The outlining did hurt more than the shading & it especially hurt when it was going over a bone. But all in all, it wasnt as painful as I thought it would be.
The whole process took about 20 minutes tops. It was only a little word after all. After he was done, he'd cleansed the area again & covered the area with cling film, securing it with tape. He gave me strict aftercare instructions (& gave me a card with it all on as well). Said to come back in 2 weeks if there were any problems & he'd do a touch up for free (nice guy!).
I know Prep-H is considered the best thing to use, & I asked Graham about it, but he said that he was now using Bepanthen as it helped heal up the tattoos quicker than prep-h (and i suppose its less embarrassing asking for bepanthen than piles cream). Anyway, I dutifully bought the cream and went home.
I got my tattoo about half-2, so I took off the clingfilm at about 6ish. I followed the instructions & gently washed the area with soap and water - there was a little bit of blood and ink that had bled through. This is normal, I was told & nothing to worry about. I then cleaned & applied cream at about every 2 hours for the 1st 4 days (covering the tattoo whilst I slept for the 1st 2 days) & now I do it every 4 hours or whenever I can apply cream.
The tattoo started to peel & become itchy on the monday (4 days after I got the tattoo). It's raised at first, but as it heals, it scabs (i could hardly tell it was scabbing actually) & peels naturally. It's very tempting to pick, but don't!! Some might actually peel off when you're applying lotion, but I don't think that can be helped.
The whole process was very cathartic to say the least & it was a way of purging the pain I felt over the last couple of months. I guess I see tattooing as a way to mark yourself. After feeling like Cain for so many weeks, I wanted to mark myself so I wouldnt forget what I'd learnt n what had been a part of me that I'd lost & never realised until it was too late.
Tattooing is very addictive! I can't wait til I get the wrist tattoo done so my left side finally becomes complete. I probably will go get that one a day before I leave for university. And as for the tattoos after that, I'll leave down to whatever life throws at me that I feel i have to mark. It's like what Asia Argento says (I'm bumming her today aren't I!):
"Every few years I feel the urge to mark myself and mark the passages, as if my body was a map and every scar will always be with me, and every scar tells you where I've been, like an animal."