In my opinion, the concept of God, or any kind of higher power, is the most powerful concept in the world. It gives hope, it starts wars, saves lives, brings peace, punishes, rewards, misleads and guides. It's bothered me for sometime the extent of the influence of God on modern western society. To me, it seems out of place, like people are clinging to that last hope that they have something to live for. I can sympathise. When I was younger, it dawned on me that life might not last forever. This fact scared me more than anything else before. I won't go into details, but I ended spending a month off school, not being able to sleep alone. I couldn't bear it, and eventually, I prayed that it would pass.
At A Glance Author ItchyStitches Contact ItchyStitches@bme.anon IAM ItchyStitches When A week ago Artist Levi Studio Evil From the Needle Location Camden Town, London To my relief, it did. By convincing myself that God might exist, I manage to beat the fear of death. Deep down, though, I always knew it was a lie. I was lying to myself, and I see people doing it all the time. By no means am I an atheist, but to me the depiction of God in modern society is counter-intuitive.
This year, I decided to commemorate that time in my life by getting the word "God" tattoo on my inner wrist. I decided it should face me, as it was a reminder to me of how this concept could change someone's life, including my own. I spent a month or so considering it, making sure it was what I wanted. I decided I wanted it in grey ink, as opposed to black, in standard book font. I didn't want anything fancy or extravagant, just the plain truth. I added a full stop, initially so that the capital "G" was necessary and also as a little hint towards my interest in grammar and language.
A friend of mine had an interview at Westminster University on the 18th February and she asked me to accompany her. We decided while we were there to go the tattoo studio that had done her tattoo, Evil From the Needle on Camden high street. So after a long coach journey there, I left her at her interview and took the tube back to Camden. I found Evil From the Needle no problem. It was located above a tacky little souvenir shop, which was a little worrying, but on entering my fears were allayed. When I arrived, Jeff Ortega welcomed me in. I explained to him what I wanted, and he had me look through a flash book of text styles to show him exactly what I wanted. I found the right font, and he made up a rough design. He booked me an appointment with Levi at 4:30. It was only 3:45, so I left a £20 deposit (he quoted me £60 overall) and went to get something to eat.
Eventually, 4:30 arrived and I went back to the studio. I met Levi, and he asked me to wait while he set up. I admired the paintings on the walls while I waited, plenty of fantastic work. 10 minutes later, Levi was ready. I followed him upstairs to his tattooing station, and he had me sit with my forearm resting on a small stand. He put on fresh gloves and prepared the stencil. The first application was slightly off, dipping on the left, so he cleaned it off with some kind of spray and reapplied it. This time it was nice and straight, so he cleaned the area on my wrist and changed his gloves, ready to prepare the ink. I told him I wanted a light grey, so he mixed grey ink with white, and came out with the colour I'd imagined. Finally, we were ready to tattoo.
He sat opposite me and began the outline. It hurt a lot less than I'd expected. I couldn't properly recall the pain of my first tattoo, as it been over a year since I had it done, but I'm fairly certain this one hurt less. He carefully traced the edges of the letters, regularly looking between the outline on my wrist and the stencil on the table to make sure he was getting everything right. Despite this he almost forgot the full stop at the end! When he'd finished, he applied a small amount of Vaseline and taped some cling film around my wrist. Overall it took around 20 minutes, and afterwards I was ecstatic. I thanked Levi several times and went downstairs to pay. They made sure I knew about after care and sent me on my way.
On the tube on the way home, I couldn't stop looking at it. I made sure to stand up and hold on to the support above me so as to show my new ink off to everyone. Wrapped in cling film, I was so happy with it. When I got home after my 2.5 hour journey, approximately 5 hours after getting my tattoo, I unwrapped it and gently washed it with warm water and a little soap. I went to a party that night, and showed it off to everyone.
For aftercare, I applied a small amount of emu oil 3 times a day, and made sure not to pick at the scabs. Sadly, one night on the way home from a gig, I cycled home in the rain. I tried my best to keep my tattoo dry, but obviously not hard enough, as the rain got to it and a piece of the scab on the "G" fell off. There's ink missing from this spot, but I'll be returning to the studio on the 13th March so I can get a touch up.
Since getting my tattoo, and after conversations with some very nice and understanding IAM members in the IAM:Atheist forum, I have come to the conclusion that my tattoo also serves as a form of protest against the influence of Christianity in modern society. I figure that the more people who ask me what it means, the more people I can tell about how I feel, and hopefully this will encourage them to think about it too, and form their own opinion on the matter.
In the end, I will never forget how it feels to find hope in a lie, and I will remember to respect, and to some extent pity, those who continue to do so. In the deepest, darkest nights, I still turn to those lies to help me sleep at night.